There are places in the heart man cannot go without the power and security of one far greater than themselves. To go there requires courage and wisdom,the ability to reason ,the ability to know what to hold onto and to let go of. The heart so often is decietful ,full of thought and feelings only supressed,not fully dealt with .What a person dwells on he becomes.If anger ,unforgiveness,sadness ,lust,pride,and on and on we go ,if they are my dominate thoughts of the day ,so will they control my life ,my ability to move forward,my ability to live fully.I know this ,I've expierienced those times when my hurt controled my every moment,paralyzing the me I wanted to be. There is a grace and a place and time that God in His great love can and did take me by the hand ,into the heart,to face those giants,one by one,and to choose to destroy their hold on me. I said Choose because it is a choice whether we face them or let go of them. To not make a choice is a choice.Places in the heart,make or break us.

around and around

Wouldn't it just be easier to get off the merry go round.. but then we'd miss the ride! and even though some of the ride gets a little more than intense, there is laughter along the way. Plans ,or the lack of planning, really is a frustration for me .I would like to know that some day I'll be home in New Mex. back to the wide open places in my heart,breathing newness and feeling every breath.Running to something i've never expierienced before,living out my last days with new friends and enjoying sharing with the old ones , and family, the path not taken before. Sounds like a dream ,it is.and maybe it will only be a dream for me, but I hope a reality for others, cause every one deserves a clean slate to write on. around and around we go !

my story

I feel the need to tell you how I have felt many joys and much heartach in my life,and have lived fully in all circumstances,good and sad.I learned and am learning daily where my weaknesses and strengths are, mostly I realize I have no real strengths of my own. When I was six years old I realized my great need for, and desire for a Savior.While playing church in the bedroom of our home, I knelt at the bed an accepted His call to my heart to let Him inside, and surrender my life,all of it ,to Him. That is the one decision I have never ever regreted,and can say has been my strength on all the roads I have walked.I have made other choices that led me into some dark places,I have had relationships that have broken me at times ,but could not destroy me. I've been walked on and stepped on so many times( that's a song I believe :)) I know what it is to hear the voice of defeat,to try to stop caring ,to stop loving,to want to pay back.I also know the deep relief ,the healing power of choosing to forgive.I have learned that as long as there is life in me , I will choose to be in relationships that will most of the time bring much joy into my life,and some times bring disappointment,sadness,and great struggle to my character.I will always be becoming someone more.I will be affected by life's choices,mine ,and choices those i love will make. But I will not walk with defeat,my spirit chooses to rise above and look at my losses as gain . Every road I have walked and will continue down will be my story,I will own it . And I will choose to see the beauty in the ashes.My story is so deep inside of me,some of it only I and my Savior will ever share,some of it will be for the whole of my world to see. I will only be so happy to say I have fully lived .

Today

I am that old lady in the shoe
has so many dreams she doesn't know what to do
wakes up with plans to do this thing and that
only to find on her face she'll fall flat
if
little lady you must ,take on one dream at a time
focus and figure and count every dime
at days end
you too will see
dreams can come true
when covered by ME

happy

for the assurance of who I am ,of what I believe,happy that every day brings new possibilities,another chance ,happy for the pleasure of love,the joy of friends and family,happy for the daily reminder of times that were harder,happy for hope.I am a very serious minded person but when i feel, i feel deeper than many who take life as only a passing friendship ,a mere aquaintance. When I love ,I love, to never give up or look back,never to regret loving. I long to live every breath of life with passion,when I die I also want to die with grace.Take my chances,feel new depths of love ,and dance my way into eternity.