Finding our place

Finding our place in this life is an on going process,just as you think you've arrived, you feel stirred to keep looking at the possibilities ahead of you.

We have been attending the most precious church in Mescalero New Mex.God is stirring us to serve the people there and yet we are an hour away from the church,through the mountains,night time driving is a challenge.It is hard to commit to what we know will be difficult..I felt coming to the house in Nogal was a God thing,it is such a wonderful place to be,had no idea we would go to church so far away when we chose this house to be home.And so I lay in bed wondering how all of this will come together,what does God have in His plans and will we recognize it when we see it face to face.Finding our place is more important than anything,not in houses or land, but in the work of the kingdom Of God,our place in His body.

"Going Back " not always a bad thing

This morning I once again realize how refreshing some of the old ways were and can be still today.As I hung the freshly washed sheets,white pj's,breakfast coat and gowns on the clothes line,yes,clothes line,I once again was taken back to the simple things of life.Simple is not to be mistaken for easier.It takes much more time and energy to hang clothes out to dry than to throw them in the dryer,I've been doing that for years, and still do on days required by weather or things needing to be with that less starchy feel,but,since coming back to my childhood roots,I find every day I long for more of the warm and peaceful feelings i had back then.I realized that the inconveniences of those days were really memories in the making ,my memories.Young ladies,you haven't experienced the joy of sheets bathed in warm sunshine until you hang them out to dry,and I might add, it takes no electricity!Well,i really don't expect many of us to enjoy this task,nor to look for things to do that add more hands on work to already busy days,but I think to do this just once could bring freshness to your beds and a smile to your face,besides one day you will be able to say,as i do now,i remember when..........

New mexico

It is July and we have traveled so many roads since I blogged last.Literally,we have been in and out of desert roads,around and around mountains,and have seen the most beautiful sights we could dream of!this change in our lives was a change we had hoped for but wasn't sure how it could happen.We stepped out!Believe me,not without fear and looking back sometimes.Change is one of the hardest places in life to walk through,and yet always important if we are going to grow.The hardest part of this change for us was the leaving our children,grandchildren,sisters and brother behind.I realize that I almost thought if I wasn't close by, God couldn't take care of them,that's how I lived anyway.I had put myself in a position of "i can take care of that",no matter how big the problem,no matter how much or what it took.Yes,it became unhealthy, mostly for the ones i hovered over.I have a tendency to call it love when ,looking at the situation in the eyes of truth,it's more the need to control.This is only one of the things I have had to search out about me on this journey of life changes.I feel overwhelmed at how self righteous a life can become in the disguise of love.Oh well,we are loving New Mex.I was raised here until the age of fourteen,And strange as it seems to others,I feel like I've come home.I want to share this time of life with the children and grands and all the rest of family and friends.I want to be a better mom,wife,Nana.I want to see the sunset of my life make a difference for the better.And I want to walk into that sunset with a sense of knowing I came home to become a better me.

Is this how it is for real!?????? I'll be 60 in June and somehow I feel more lost than ever.,So not together. Gary wants to walk away from this life we've made home,and.... most days I do too.Today I feel like the puzzle pieces are thrown to the floor and there is no way to pick them up,much less put them back together again.I know,most of you blog about all the fun things in your lives and post cute pictures.I'm so boring.A new start sounds so wonderful and yet it also feels very uncertain,like unrealistic,too far out there.Change is coming,I know that,just hope it's for the best, for the rest of this life,and that somehow I will be something, or someone for others that will matter.I want to be all I can be,all Gary needs me to be; I want to see Gary happy! Then I will feel like nothing will be lost.